My goodness. School.

Going back to school.
Good time for new beginnings, right?
This should be the time where I forget all of the extra baggage from my old school and all of the crap people put me through there but... I can't. I don't want to let go of who I used to be. I hate change. I hate me changing. I want it all to be the way it used to be, back when my plan was so clear; always be yourself, go as far as you can, don't hold back, conquer the world with no apologies and never let anyone take advantage of you. Its way easier said that done. After a while people you love begin to hurt you. You begin to lose sight of what you want and then in who you are. You begin to shy away from what you want or you sacrifice what you want for someone or something you love or care about. It all attacks you and you are left with no self esteem, no self respect and a whole mess of pain and confusion.

I think tonight will be the night I become that girl again. The girl I admire for being brave and smart and able to handle anything life threw her way. She knew what she wanted. She knew what she liked, She knew how to handle things and never dwelled on the past. She was confident and never bothered with what other people thought. Some may say she was naive or immature. But she never cared. I've missed her a lot. She had a soul. She could laugh without wanting to cry. She never had to fake a smile. And I'm proud to see her return.